


Family Squabble

by Brenda



Series: The Lazy Hazy Summer Daze Writing Challenge [18]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, The Lazy Hazy Summer Daze Writing Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 05:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenda/pseuds/Brenda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scotty wonders if McCoy and Kirk are, in fact, an old married couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Squabble

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the eighteenth day of the **[The Lazy Hazy Summer Daze Writing Challenge](http://azewewish.livejournal.com/1074772.html)** for [](http://idiosyncratic.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://idiosyncratic.livejournal.com/)**idiosyncratic** , who asked for Kirk/McCoy, "bromance from hell."

It probably said something that no one on the bridge even batted an eyelash when both their – ahem – illustrious Captain and CMO exited the turbolift already in full-blown argument. Spock, possibly deciding either discretion was the better part of valor or he wasn't in the mood to get caught in the middle of said squabble, promptly handed the ship back to Kirk and exited as fast as he could, all without actually looking like he was fleeing the scene. (It was a neat trick. Scotty wondered if Spock taught lessons.)

Everyone else on the bridge prepared themselves to, metaphorically speaking of course, kick back and watch the proverbial fireworks that Kirk and McCoy always provided. Watching them in action was better than the fire-eaters on Risa, which was saying a considerable amount.

"Next time, Jim, you're on your own," McCoy stated, emphasizing his point by lowering a pair of very imposing eyebrows.

Kirk, as ever, was _less_ than impressed by said eyebrows. After all these years, Scotty reckoned he was used to it. "C'mon, Bones, I had it under control. Everything was fine."

"My retribution will be slow and very painful."

"Just admit I was right and that I had the situation in hand."

"Have they always bickered like an old married couple?" Sulu wondered, to the room in general.

"Sadly, yes," Uhura sighed, the sound one of longtime suffering. Scotty wondered if she was regretting not following Spock off the bridge.

Scotty leaned against the railing next to Uhura's station and wagged his finger between the two men. "And we're 100% certain they're not actually, in fact, married, yes?"

"Scuttlebutt is Jim wouldn't be opposed to hooking up, but the good Doctor, when he goes after men, likes them older."

"Hey, I never said I'd sleep with Bones," Kirk interjected, clearly eavesdropping, and sounding appalled that he wasn't the one leading the discussion.

"You flirt with him all the time," Uhura pointed out.

"I flirt with everyone. I flirt with you, I flirt with Scotty. I even flirt with Spock. That doesn't mean anything."

"Much as I hate agreeing with him, he'll flirt with anyone on legs or even tentacles. It's also true I like more mature men when I go that way," McCoy said, his ire with Kirk apparently put on the back burner for the moment. "But even if I did like 'em young and pretty, I'd go after Chekov before Jim."

Chekov, who'd been sitting quietly at his console and doing his best I'm-a-neutral-planet impersonation, jerked his head around to look at the group, and blinked owlishly. "I should be flattered. That's flattering, yes?"

"Why wouldn't you want to sleep with me?" Kirk asked, hands on his hips. "Everyone wants to sleep with me."

"I really, really don't," Uhura said, raising her hand.

"Me neither," Scotty shrugged. Sure, it might be a fun experience, but the way Kirk got around, Scotty felt like he was bound to disappoint, and who'd want the pressure? Sex, in his not so humble opinion, should be a grand adventure shared by both parties, not a race or a contest.

"Sulu?"

"Ladies only, sorry," Sulu said, not sounding very apologetic at all. "I'm sure you're a very attractive man."

"Well, that's embarrassing."

McCoy was all smiles as he clapped Kirk on the back, his good humor completely restored. "That's what you get for asking."

***


End file.
